The last two years taught me that a business either makes your passion grow more or squashes the dream. Kind of like moving in with your partner or friend - either you make a compromise or you don't. It's simple as that.
Vending made me move away from what I loved - traditional and retro desserts. People wanted cakes that looked like Disney or Sesame Street characters. That's not what I want to do or can do. Cakes are not my strength and I do not want to appear on Cake Wrecks. What most people don't understand is that some bakers and pastry chefs are not all cake decorators.
I fucking hate writing on goddamn cakes. While I'm on the subject, stop requesting long ass messages on small cakes. It's a 9" cake. It cannot hold the Canterbury Tales. Buy a card!!!
|Not mine. My writing isn't nearly as crisp.|
I truly loved meeting people and introducing my desserts to them. I worked to keep The Pastry Prophet alive. My friends encouraged me to buy a store front. That's another thing: a storefront costs money. Lots and lots of money, risk, employees, etc.
Since I'm not a character in a Sims game, I cannot say "mother lode" and money will magically appear in my bank account.
Frankly I felt stuck. I worked so hard to put myself through school, worked for minimal wage with chefs who all thought they were Colette Peters, sacrificed and carefully avoided putting myself into debt. Still I had very little to show. Also I did not see a potential of things improving in the future.
I spent too much time in the past wishing and hoping complacently for things to go my way. Also swimming against the current again hoping for improvement.
So I decided to make the change. Life is incredibly brief and I'm too old care what people think about my decisions. I officially closed my business. I am only taking requests from friends, friends of friends, and family.
I want to write, travel, and enjoy life more. Something I missed out while selling my business. Then I'm getting back into shape and improving my health. I refuse to believe that I need to give up delicious food.
That's my focus for this new chapter in my life (if I can use such a hackneyed phrase):
- Do the things that I love: baking and sharing desserts that I love to make
- Travel and dine at non-tourist destinations. Suggestions are appreciated.
- Develop new recipes. All things considered, I still love to eat.
- Embrace a healthy lifestyle. Under this administration, I cannot afford to get sick.
- Write ... write ... write ....!!!!